This new series attempts to address an age-old mystery: Listing stuff deaf people like. A mix of science, art, and foolhardiness.
Idea taken from Stuff White People Like, which is hilarious and far funnier than I could ever hope to be.
Next time you go for a drive in the neighboorhood with a deaf person, observe him or her carefully as you approach the car. Hold the key fob in your hand firmly, and watch as the deaf person stands patiently by the door, handle in hand, waiting for you to unlock it.
Why does he or she do this strange thing?
Deaf people can’t hear the car doors unlock. So they hold the handle delicately, gently, waiting to feel the car door open.
Because of this, deaf people initimately know what their car door handles feel like. You see, they feel them up, hold them, touch them — while they are waiting for the car to be unlocked.
Car door handles are as individual as snowflakes, and each transmits the click of a opening door differently. Some feel quite muffled. Others are tricky, requiring a pause before opening otherwise you’ll experience a dreaded misfire in which you will cause the door to be the only one unlocked, causing a Delay in Leaving.
Sometimes they miss the click though for various reason, and only after much rockings-of-the-car and hand wavings will they realize that everybody is in the car already. This is often embarrassing, so please be cool about it. Deaf people will appreciate that.