I came across this website recently. I don’t know the language (possibly German?). It never fails to amaze me how the human mind is capable of coming up with ideas for different situations and problems. They say necessity is the mother of invention. That has been proven true, time and time again. Some of the suggestions are useful, although some items require the individual to possess a certain level of “I-don’t-care-how-stupid-I-may-look” feeling. There are 30 imaginative answers to everyday problems on the website.

Tired of winged creatures flying into your mouth while riding a bike? Do this! Bare feet chafing after a hard run on the bike pedals? Make them comfortable. Out of sight, therefore out of mind? Never forget something important ever again. Zonked out on the subway window again and jarred by the vibrations? Soften the blows with this trick.

Need to fake the funk on your chopstick skills? No problem. Don’t know what to do with those post office stamps that you don’t use anymore? Be trendy. Need a way to stop the kiddies from dripping ice cream onto your brand new furniture? This would scoop up the slop.

But what’s up with this pacifier? Talk about a prickly situation. If I gave this to my baby, child protective services would be called on me so fast, my head would literally spin. And I know keeping the toilet clean can be a joyless chore, but how would this help? If anything, it may cause additional… ahem…stains.

And there’s nothing that we deaf/hard of hearing/late-deafened/[INSERT YOUR OWN LABEL HERE] would love more than to save money on auditory listening devices (read: hearing aids/cochlear implants). Don’t want to shell out a pretty penny for those? How about these? If you go for this idea, please refer to what I mentioned before about the “I-don’t-care-how-stupid-I-look” feeling.

At least this website gives me an idea for my Halloween costume this year…just need to practice the face scowling and creepy eye stare, natch.