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Them Aisle Campers

Date: 5/15/2005
Location: Orange Line, toward Vienna.

This will be my last entry for two weeks. I am going vacationing out West to visit family. For the curious I will be going to Washington State.

That brings me to today’s topic. Them Aisle Campers.

Have you ever noticed when you are on the metro the people who waltz in with their cute handbags (or in the case of a male, a manbag) and plop themselves in the aisle seat — when the other seat is empty.

Normally, I wouldn’t even think about this, but I found myself confronting an aisle camper today. It was horrible.

You see, aisle campers are evil. They fit in the category of annoying Metro denizens — along with Jerkers, Kitchen Sink Janes, Laptop Larries, Newspaper Slobs, Musical Chairers, Carhoppers, and so on.

They take up that space and have the balls to get flustered when someone dares to come up to them and indicate that they would like to sit the fuck down and would they mind shooing over or something? Or at least get up, shimmy over, and let me get to the window seat?

Well, today, this particular aisle camper gave me a look of pure hatred ™ and slowly, slowly started to get up to let me sit down in the window seat. Now, of course, she calcluated her ascent to coincide with the metro train moving again. So, naturally, I was thrown to the back of the train because, unluckily, I was still standing up. No, I wasn’t thrown to the back of the train, but I would have if it wasn’t for the old man who broke my fall.

When I finally got into my seat, I wasn’t in a good mood. Aisle campers are evil. If you are one, how do you live with yourself? When you wake up in the morning do you decide, “Today I will be an aisle camper!”

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